Last Updated on 03/01/2010
Common wisdom in sales and management circles has revolved around the need to set personal goals, visualize, negotiate, and achieve.
A new school of thought suggests that the secret to success could actually be to take the opposite route.
Two new books regarding happiness, success, communication and persuasion argue respectively that happiness should not come at the expense of realism and the way to negotiation is to be receptive and listen with purity.
Barbara Ehrenreich’s Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America, from the author of over a dozen other books, has used her experience as a breast cancer survivor to argue that the advocates of positive thinking are doing their followers a disservice. She insists that being positive about everything is not always good or superior. In other words, in corporate-speak, not every problem is a challenge and not every challenge is an opportunity. Ehrenreich claims that the incessant abuse of positive thinking has lead to a culture of not confronting problems. This school of thought leads to tangible problems.
Dr. Mark Goulston’s Just Listen: Discover The Secret To Getting Through To Absolutely Anyone comes from the perspective of a psychiatrist and an FBI negotiator. He claims that the contemporary needs for ‘producing’ costs us business and personal relationships. Should we accept that sales, marketing and management have relating and relationship building as their cornerstones then we would do well to delve deeper into his thoughts. The book takes the stance that the best way to achieve what we want – be it a sale, a promotion or a concession – is to be receptive to the other party – i.e. empathy. The book insists that taking a more ‘natural’ stance is actually the better way to succeed. Goulston believes by listening, and listening even more deeply, could one get through to the angry customer, narcissistic co-worker or dissatisfied employee. He goes on to insist that the social media does us a disservice by emphasizing quantity over quality. According to the book, the best way to listen is to listen without an agenda. This would be the purest form of listening. Oddly enough, he does have a Facebook account!
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